


the confession

by LacieFuyu



Series: As we tried to heal [9]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Fluff, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, POV Third Person Limited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 09:17:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17864648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LacieFuyu/pseuds/LacieFuyu
Summary: Leta tells Theseus about what she did to Corvus at the boat 1901. Interlude of as we tried to heal series.





	the confession

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Apparently, I am on roll and couldn't stop. So I present you the next one shot. It also can be kind of sequel to "even monsters deserve to love each other." 
> 
> Unbetaed. All mistake is mine.

Leta leaned back on the sofa, folded her hands in front of her chest and thinking about a certain matter. That matter kept making her distracted. She kept misplaced her paperwork and clues about Grindelwald for the last few days to the point that Travers had enough and had to send her home early. He said she should be more focused if she wanted to be any help and he was not wrong. 

 

There had been talks about Grindelwald’s escape. They were trying to transfer him to Europe so he could face punishment for all his crime but it ended badly and he escaped. Based on their latest discovery and apparently, Grindelwald and his acolytes made their temporary base in there. It was confusing at first because there was no strong relation for Grindelwald to choose Paris until they found out about the surviving obscurus that stayed in Paris.

 

_ Credence Barebone. _

 

It was surprising but in the same make sense why Grindelwald decided to stay in Paris. Ever since she knew about this information, she had been restless and distracted. She remembered that surname. That surname was the same as Mary Lou Barebone, the person that supposed to adopt her brother. Supposed, because the person she adopted was not her brother. It was another person entirely and he turned to be the obscurus the Ministries hunted. She had dragged an innocent person because of her mistakes, searching for his mother in Paris and everyone linked it to her dead brother, Corvus Lestrange. 

 

They were all truly believed it and the ball she attended a few weeks ago confirmed. She felt like she couldn’t tell anyone about the truth. She was the only one who knew. She once intended to take this secret to the grave but then, the consequence of her action was right in front of her now. The weight of her sin felt suffocating and she needed to let it out but she didn’t know who she could trust, at least until the day of the ball. 

 

_ “You don’t have to tell me what is it. Just so you know, I will always be there for you. Just like when you always be there for me.”   _

 

_ Leta looked at him, conflicted, because she wanted to tell him but she couldn’t because she was afraid what his reaction would be. “I-- I can’t. Not yet, Theseus.”  _

 

_ “It’s fine. Like I said you don’t--”  _

 

_ “But I will!” She cut him off. “I promise I will, Theseus.”  _

 

_ Theseus looked stunned by her words and then he smiled softly. “Don’t force yourself when you are not ready, alright? Do it on your own time. No rush.”  _

 

Leta bit her lips. She knew Theseus mean it. He won’t force her to tell him about it. He was always like that. The thing was now it actually affected her job performance to the point people noticed and not to mention they were soon going to be an operation in Paris. To stopped Grindelwald’s possible rally. She couldn’t be distracted by the feeling that kept weighing her down. Even though it was only one person she had to tell someone. She knew she could tell Theseus but at the same time, there was a fear that kept her from telling Theseus. 

 

_ What if Theseus hate her after hearing the whole story? _

 

Leta shook her head. She needed to stop thinking of the worst. Theseus would not just turn his back on her. She had to believe he would not hate her for that. She really hoped so. Because he was someone who accepted and loved her as her, who didn’t expect her to be anything but herself. Who always there for her. She had to put her faith on him. 

 

Leta tapped her foot absentmindedly, anxious about the incoming-talk. She was about to pacing when the door of their house opened. There was Theseus who was wet because of the rain. He immediately pulled his wand and dried himself in a second. She approached him. 

 

“Welcome home, Thes.” Leta smiled.

 

“I’m home, Leta.” Theseus grinned and put his coat on the coat hanger. “I heard you were sent home earlier today by Travers. What happened? Are you sick?” He placed his hand on her forehead. “It feels fine.” He muttered. 

 

Leta chuckles and shook her head. “No, Thes. I am not sick. I just had been distracted that Travers couldn’t stand it anymore.” 

 

Theseus arched one of her eyebrows. “Really? That doesn’t like you. You are usually very precise and focused.” 

 

“Yes,” Leta sighed. “I just have something in my mind.” 

 

“What is it?” Theseus asked as they went to their bedroom. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Yes actually, I’ve been wanting to talk about it but,” Leta examined her fiance from head to toe. “Cleaned yourself and take a bath. You’re dirty, Thes.” 

 

“It’s not my fault that the rain suddenly decides to pour hard and some muds stuck on my trouser,” Theseus huffed. She gave him a pointed look and he immediately raised his hands up. “As you wish, soon-to-be Mrs. Scamander.” He gave her a quick peck on her left cheek and left to fetch the towel, clean clothes and disappeared to the bathroom. 

 

Leta laughed at her fiance antics. She plopped down on their bed and watched at the direction of the bathroom’s door. She heard his voice, singing a song so heartily. Sometimes she wondered how everyone expected her husband to be. With his reputation as War Hero and Head of Auror Department, people would expect him as a serious, law-abiding and arrogant person but everyone who came to know him would attest differently. He was someone who was kind, sweet would listen to his subordinate and also someone who would stand on the law when he was sure it was right and not afraid to bend it if he knew it was the right choice. That quality really reminded her of Newt. Even though people often said they were truly different, the fact was that they were similar in some aspect. In the end, they were brothers after all. 

 

Leta wished that Newt would actually accept their dinner invitation though. It was sad to see Theseus felt discouraged to invited him more because Newt constantly rejected it and she was also sad because she knew she probably contributed the reason why Newt rejected those invitations. She wanted to repair their friendship,  _ so badly _ . He was her first friend and she wanted their easy connection to back like they used to have before. 

 

“So,” Leta snapped out of her reverie and looked up. Theseus with hair still dripped by water gave her a sweet smile. “What the most beautiful person had in mind that it make her frowned so hard?” He said while plopping beside her. 

 

Leta chuckles. “You’re a sap.” 

 

“I would love to see it as me being romantic but whatever you say, darling.” He winked. 

 

Leta shook her head fondly and rest her head on the crook of his neck. Theseus’s arm slithered to her waist and pulled her closer. She heard Theseus humming a familiar tune. She never asked what song was that but she felt she knew it. It was such a calming tune. 

 

They enjoying the moment of their togetherness. For a second, she wished for time to stop but she knew it couldn’t. So she took a deep breath and pulled herself together. 

 

“Thes,” Leta started. Theseus hummed as respond. “Do you remember I promised that I will tell you the thing that haunted me?”

 

Theseus didn’t respond immediately but then answered. “Yes, I remember.” She could feel his concerned gaze on her. “Are you sure you want to tell me about it?” 

 

Leta pulled back and looked up at him. His concern was shining in his blue eyes and she couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, Thes. I want.” She took his hand and hold it tightly. “Will you listen to me?” She asked tentatively. 

 

“Of course,” Theseus smiled reassuringly. “I’ll always be here to listen, Leta. You couldn’t get rid of me easily.” 

 

They shared a laugh on his remark. Leta knew what Theseus was trying to do. He tried to make her relaxed before she started to tell him. And it’s working. She once again took a deep breath and let it out. The words started to spill. 

 

“You know that both my brother and I supposed to go to America, right?” Theseus nodded at her. “My caretaker, Irma posed as our grandmother. I supposed to look after Corvus once we were adopted but something happened.”  She bits her lips before continuing. “It was the middle of the night. Everyone was asleep but Corvus never stopped crying. Despite the circumstances, I never hate Corvus,” She shook her head slowly. “Not even once and I don’t want to hurt, but at that time I wished…. I wished that I could be free of him for a moment. Just for a moment.” 

 

Theseus didn’t say anything but rubbed her hand gently, trying to soothe her. She continued the tale with a sorrowful voice. “There was a fuss, and Irma was going to know what happened. I was curious and brought Corvus with me, holding him tightly and walked to the corridor. And then, I noticed the cabin across our cabin opened. There was a baby inside. The baby was fast asleep and with Corvus kept crying an idea crossed in my mind. I swapped them and went outside with the other baby.” 

 

“And then, everything happened so quickly. Irma took the other baby from my hand and not notice it was not Corvus. A woman came and told Irma to wear the life-jacket in hurry and she took Corvus. None of them realised that they’ve been swapped. Corvus and the woman were in other boats. My eyes never left him when it happened.” Leta’s voice was starting to tremble as she remembering that moment. “Their boat was hit by a huge wave and overturned. My heart trembling rapidly, I spotted the woman and as soon as she abandoned her life-jacket she immediately dived again.” 

 

“And she never resurfaced again,” Leta couldn’t stop the tears that slid down on her cheeks, her voice turned break. “I killed Corvus. My brother died and I killed him. I killed him, Theseus. I killed him and the boy, Credence, he was an innocent person. My selfish wish made him live like that. I turned him into an obscurus, I am-- I am--” She shook her head rapidly as her body racked by her feelings. “I am a monster, Theseus.” She looked up and met his gaze. “I truly am.” 

 

Theseus took her face in his hands and shook his head. “No, you’re not, Leta.” 

 

“I killed him, Thes!” She sobbed. “I am truly a--” 

 

“No,” Theseus cut her off. It was sharp that Leta was startled, his gaze was hard but not unkind. She then noticed those blue eyes had unshed tears. “You’re not a monster, Leta. What kind of a monster feeling terrible for what they did. You didn’t mean to do that. “

 

“But I--” 

 

“Leta, listen to me, ” Theseus said softly. “Did you mean it to happen? For Corvus to die?” 

 

“I--  I didn’t. I didn’t mean it.” She shook her head. 

 

“Then you shouldn’t keep blaming yourself, Leta” He smiled wistfully. “You were only a child. You never expected it. In the end, it was a series of unfortunate accidents. You couldn’t expect yourself to feel guilty for something you couldn’t control. I am sure you would take your little brother back if there was no accident with the boat.” Theseus wiped away her tears. “Also you were the one who told me that I shouldn’t blame myself for something I couldn’t control.” He smiled kindly at her. “And just the same, Leta. You shouldn’t take the blame on your shoulder. It would be suffocating and crushing you eventually.” 

 

“But I am….,” She said in tears. “I am…. I kill-” 

 

“No, you’re not.” He cut her off. “To kill, to stated you kill another human being mean you did it on purpose. Like you mean it from the beginning. You didn’t mean it, Leta. You didn’t.” He brushed her hair and pressed his lips against her forehead. “You didn’t kill anyone. It was an accident that no one could foresee.” He whispered gently.

 

Theseus pulled back and smiled at her. She didn’t understand why he didn’t hate her for her sin. Even though she knew he would listen to her, some part her still sure he was going to hate her. “Why didn’t you hate me, Thes?” 

 

“Why should I?” He asked back. 

 

Leta wanted to respond immediately but she lost her words. She was not sure what to say. Theseus chuckles and took her hands and brought it to his lips. He kissed it gently and smiled at her. She still lost what to say when Theseus decided to speak up. 

 

“This hands had held me through my nightmare, give me assurance when I lost within my demon, holding me and grounding me.” Theseus made soothing circles repeatedly on her hands with her thumbs. “You never rejected me, never looked at me at disgust even when you understand this hands of mine was already stained by blood. In the war, I killed people like I mean it and survive and even sometimes I disgusted by that fact.”  

 

“Theseus, you don’t kill people because you want to.” Leta protested. “You fought to protect people and it was war. You couldn’t help something you couldn’t--” She realised what she was going to say and Theseus gave her a small smile. “........control.” 

 

Leta at loss of words. She understood the point Theseus made and yet her mind still screamed that it was all her fault. Theseus suddenly pulled her into his arms and made them fell back on the bed. “I won’t tell you to forget everything because I knew that would be impossible. That is not how it works. But please remember, even though everything in this world is against you, even your own self, I will always be there with you. And even though the world and you couldn’t forgive yourself, I forgive you, Leta.  I forgive you.” 

 

The tears started to spill again from her eyes. She didn’t know how much she had sought those words. She wondered was all this time she actually sought forgiveness for her sin. As she was crying, Theseus’s arm surrounded her like a cocoon that made her feel safe. His hands patted her back gently, comforting her. 

 

Leta didn’t remember when she stopped but was she knew that she felt tired and sleepy. Her ears pressed against his chest, hearing his heart beating constantly made her feel calm. And then, he started humming again a familiar tune again. She always felt like she had listened to it a long time ago. 

 

“What song is that, Thes? The one that you kept humming.” Leta asked. 

 

“Ah that,” Theseus chuckles. “It’s a tune I made. I used to hum it as a lullaby for Newt when he was a lot younger.” 

 

Her mind made a connection to the days when she was in the Hogwarts. Newt used to hum it too whenever he felt rather content. She couldn’t help but chuckles. “What is it, Leta?” Theseus asked, confused. 

 

“I will tell you tomorrow, Thes.” She replied. “I feel rather tired and sleepy.” 

 

“Alright,” He laughed. “I am feeling rather tired too. It’s early but let’s sleep.” 

 

“You will be here when I wake up?” 

 

“I will still be here, Leta.” 

 

“Promise?”

 

“Promise.”

 

Leta was slowly fell asleep. She could feel Theseus brushed her hair lightly while humming. She couldn’t resist the smile blossomed upon her face. It was not like her guilt she harboured all this time disappeared but for the first time in a long time she felt so light and content. And the knowledge of Theseus would be here when she woke up make her feel calm. And she no longer resisted and let the darkness claimed her. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me in tumblr or twitter
> 
> @LacieFuyu


End file.
